"Um, Matt, could we just, like, go out to get something to eat, maybe?" Dianna seemed a little embarrassed by the request.Matt, eager to please her, said, "Sure. What kind of food do you like?"They settled on pizza and headed out to a place away from campus, where they had an old-time sing-along, complete with a piano player and a banjo player, the lyrics to old songs projected onto a screen for all to see.During one of the musicians' breaks, when the place quieted down enough to actually hold a conversation, Matt poured her another beer from the pitcher."So, why didn't you want to go to the bar tonight?" he asked.It was a little dark in the place, but he thought she was blushing. "Because I'm only 19 and I don't have any fake IDs," she admitted."But you're drinking beer here," he pointed out.She shrugged. "You bought it, they checked your ID, but not mine. I'm drinking on your say-so, but a bar with a guy at the door checking IDs would never let me in."Matt was startled, to say the. " I burst into laughter. I did that because it hit me just how absurd it all was. I climbed out of bed this morning after having my brains screwed out by two brothers and made fun of my dad's younger wife. I knew I had no right to say a word, but I didn't care. He asked for it."Well your mother and I are not going to have sex even though someone in this family should," dad said."Is that aimed at me. If it is I'm not anywhere near the frigid bitch you think I am. I'll have you know that I was the center of a threesome last night." I said it smugly. Then I laughed out loud. I was struck by a thought. What other twenty six year old woman would have proudly told her parents she had been screwing two guys at the same time. I had to be from the most dysfunctional family in the world."So have you learned to enjoy the taste of semen?" my dad asked."No, but I haven't thrown up from it in years," I suggested. Then I waited to see what mom would say in response. She never said a word, or showed.
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